living in a bipolar city

It was a nice day out today, but I must have froze 3 times over today. First, at my lab, there's always some kind of wind tunnel going outside my lab room and when the door is even slightly open, I feel the draft. Then when I went to my evening class, the ac was jacked up more than usual and I was so cold, i had to hug myself thru the entire lecture. Even my friend, who was wearing a jacket, felt cold. Then on the train ride home made me hate the F train even more cuz the newer, more modern ones treat the passengers like meat that needs to be over-frozen and to make things worse, no matter where I sat, i felt cold air blowing down the right side of my body and neck (even during the winter!). This was the only time I wished someone sat next to me so that i can steal body heat, but it was close to 9pm, and there are a lot fewer ppl on the trains. when i got home, i wore my faux-fur sweater and i tried to jog/walk/jumping jacks in place and did them as fast as i could in 10 mins. i just don't want to get sick...*prays for no runny nose*

i do wish i could be a reptile sometimes cuz i don't like being oversensitive to my surrounding's temperature. so i've tried many ways over the years to keep myself warm when i get cold. I was told to think of somethint warm when you're cold like the beach or something, but that was wasn't working for me. So I tried to think of who i have a crush on cuz thinking of the person you like is supposed to make your heart flutter or "skip a beat" and you get all warm and fuzzy, right? so it would be something like this...

well, not exactly that, but it kinda worked when i was imagining him sitting on the empty train seat right across from me, imagining what happened yesterday afternoon....

so i've had an infatuation w/ this guy for about a yr and half now, or 3 semesters cuz i forget about him when we don't have class together during the school breaks, hahas.  I know that he has class somewhere in the science building at 2pm and leaves to go to another class at around 3:15 pm (i know this cuz i accidently bumped into him and his classmates in the elevator one time). I was able to leave my lab early yesterday, so I was planning to coincidently bump into them again. but i left my lab maybe 10 mins late and didn't get to bump into them in the elevator. so I decided that as I was walking to the subway, I would take a detour through the building where his next class was held. but i only saw his classmates, and not him. As I was taking the escalator up, I was still hopelessly thinking of another way to see him, but he's a good student and always gets to class early or on time. When I reached the top of the escalator, many things happened in the next 5 secs:

1. He sees me first, then I notice him.
2. As he passes by me, he faces toward me even tho he was walking in the opposite direction.
3. My eyes widen w/ shock, but quickly turn away cuz i was flooded with many diff. emotions at once, while my voice flew out the window.
4. The end.

I walked a few meters more ahead, and all I could think of was whether or not he saw my surprised expression or not. So I decided to turn back to see where he went cuz the way he was going wasn't in the direction of his classroom. But I had lost him and I'm left still wondering if what I saw was real or surreal. I should have said a hello, but we don't address each other even in class since we're not friends even tho most of his classmates are my friends. So yea, thinking of that silly-adrenaline-rush moment made me feel...super-embarrassed, but still warm and fuzzy hahahas oh geez i guess things come when you least expect it~