Evaluation

I finally mustered up the courage to fill out an evaluation sheet in order to get a pay raise/promotion. The manager that I had a crush on promised to do my evaluation, but I had to keep nag him a whole week to get to my evaluation cuz that week was his last week as manager of our floor before leaving to the other floor. When it finally came, we sat in a room alone together with the door left open. I've never had this much privacy with him before so it was a bit scary (?)

We got right down to business as we sat across from each other with my evaluation sheet on the table. He started out with saying that in order to pass, the top two categories needed perfect scores regardless of how perfect the other categories were...
 =________= Fck

I immediately knew I was not going to pass, but we ended up going through each category and talking about them. But the thought of not passing already sorta made everything else he said afterwards go in one ear and then out the other..it just didn't matter anymore. So I just nodded and tried my best to smile to look like I was taking in everything he was saying to me. He was also trying to speak as gently as possible cuz like he said already "I know it's disappointing...blah-blah".

To make it more optimistic, he then went on to say that I would be better prepared for the next evaluation happening in August. He also knew about me moving to Georgia Tech, so he asked me when I was leaving, so he asked when I was leaving, so I replied "no later than August." dead awkwardness follows....~.~

the more he talked, the angrier i became inside. i just wanted to storm out of that room and never see him again. and then i remembered that I had liked this guy alot before, and more disappointment followed. So I just sat there and listened to more of what he had to say.

Then he asked how long I was gonna be in Georgia and I said ~4 yrs. He said that there will be a store opening at Atlanta in a few yrs so i could be supervisor there then....>.> omg when he said this, my eyes narrowed, and i really thought to myself.."is this guy kidding me?" smh..why am i still sitting here? ..sigh

I think he sensed that his apologetic conversation wasn't exactly working for me cuz it just got more awkward. So he ended it by saying that he would be my future reference if I needed him. I don't remember next if he offered his number or if I asked for it to seize the opportunity, but the next thing I remembered is him writing down his cell number on my notepad. I had dreamed of different scenarios of getting his number or me giving my number to him, but not like this. It was just so sad. I glanced at the number, but I was more interested in his full name cuz i never knew his last name.

John Dwyer.

Another piece of info that I had gathered about him..from Connecticut, went to Syracuse University for business major, trained at Japan, and somehow used his cute charming skills to move up the ranks.

So the meeting ended, thank god! All the feelings I had felt for him were dumped in that room too. Time to move on and get out!