summer hair-do

I need to get a hair cut cuz...i want one. I feel like I need to cut my hair every summer, but I don't know what to get. I don't want an exact bob again, but if I want to keep it shoulder-length, it might as well just be one...


I've been debating about getting bangs too since ppl look so good in them. But I don't think I will look good as the pic in the left cuz my forehead is flat and too short and I have a round face that's wider than longer. So I need some style that will lengthen my face or make it appear slimmer. I also want more hair volume on the crown of my head and less hair touching my face since i hate having to brush hair away from my face and that's why i also hate bangs too.  and my face gets oily easily, and that will get my hair oily and then i'm gonna turn into one grumpy person. ...

I also wished I had this girl's high forehead (and dress i might add). No baby hair at all. Can i ask the hair dresser to get rid of my baby hair? they grow so close to my eyebrows =\

Too many problems w/ my face. I wish I had an oval face, every style looks good w/ that, and then i can chop most of my hair off and get my dream pixie cut and white blonde dye as well...













I know every hair style will have something that I don't like about it, but I still haven't found one that would be sophisticated enough to be both manageable and comfortable.

yea, i'm about to turn like the one below, just about to pull out all my hair out from a lack of choices for round-face ppl...

Turning 22

Today is my 22nd bday and since there are a few mins before it ends, I wanted to blog about today even tho nothing particularly spectacular happened.

I was calling up my h.s. friends the night before to maybe plan a hangout for tonite, but not all of them could show up on my bday night, so had to reschedule another day. It was a downer, but i'm ok w/ it as long as we're all there. Even one person not there irks me and keeps me worried.

So I slept not feeling that excited about turning 22 since I like being 21. For some reason, i feel like my twenties will be passing by me the fastest and I don't want that to happen. It was just a dreading feeling.

Since I sleep late, I tend to pass that REM phase of sleep of dreaming, and last nite, i slept at around 2:30 a.m looking up hairstyles cuz I want to cut my hair before I head to china, but i'm sooooo picky about what my new hairstyle should be...sigh...still haven't found a good one that would suit my round face, and i don't want a bob again either...

But this morning, I woke up from a really weird dream. It started out romantic, and then got really weird. And my lil korean boy from school that i've had a crush on (and maybe obsessing judging from my old posts) was IN it. Even my ex-bf has never been in my dreams before. And I still remember it so clearly too....He came to me, and held my hand and said he liked me too and read my fb msg (even tho he wasn't my fb friend yet). I looked completely taken aback and all of a sudden, I realize that he was confessing in my house with no body in it except us two. And then i hear keys opening a door from the outside and I freak cuz it was my parents coming home. I push him inside my parents' room w/ the lights kept off. My dad goes into the room to sleep, but he never turns on the light. Then i creep back into the room to look for my crush and tell him to hurry up and leave, but he doesn't want to. This wakes up my dad and he starts to ask questions as to why this strange boy is in the room. At that moment when I was in complete loss, I wake up. And the first thing I thought to myself was that I should friend this boy on fb cuz nothing felt more right to do than this at the moment.

It took me 3 mins to write a short friend request msg, but 20 mins to finally hit the SEND button. But I did it, and w/e happens or w/e he thinks of me, well, Oh wells then.

I get to school, late as usual, and go to GRE prep for my 3hr express class. After class, I go to lab and eat my lunch. And then my friend from another lab on the same floor surprised me w/ an icecream cake! I had a feeling already that something was going on since she kept telling me to finish my lunch. Ommo, I was so touched! I love this girl so much! I check fb and saw that my crush had accepted the friend request and that made me extra happy lols I don't know why I do these pointless things and why they make me so happy since I seem to be in a one-sided crush, but as long as it makes me happy, it makes every problem that happens around me to be quite manageable cuz I'm already feeling positive. And when I got home, my dad got me a cake too. lols The night ended w/ a nice family dinner w/ everyone around the table =D

OTTOKAE!

What to do? What to do? What to do?

I was walking to lab in the morning, but late in the morning as usual, and then I look to my right and I see him walking just past me in the opposite direction. I'm not sure if he saw me, but I definitely saw him! I don't know if the heavens are playing tricks w/ my heart, but yea, I almost lost my breath. I kept looking back at him as he walked away, and then I suddenly decided to lower my pride a little and turn my stalker mode on lols I've never done such a thing before! I stayed several yards away from him and followed him into one of the school buildings. I thought it would be big trouble if he went to the elevator and he did. So I went to the stairs and since he's a Chem. Engr. major, most of them go to the 3rd floor. But I had to climb like 2 extra floors since there's an extra level betw. the 1st and 2nd fl and the 2nd and 3rd fl >.< and Thank god those elevators are slow cuz I got up there just when I heard the elevator go "ding!" and out he came. He saw me come out of the stairs tho. I must have really gone crazy by now.

I walked in the same direction as him, but I was ahead of him this time so I had to pretend like I was looking for a room number in the hallway. When I turned a corner, he was no longer walking anymore, so all I could do was continue walking until I end up at the elevators again. But I decided to walk into the hallway again, and I kept peeking ahead to see if he was still there, and he was just walking back to the elevators. OMG major awkward! And I circled around the hallway again and ended up at the elevators again. By now, I decided to not follow him anymore and get back to lab cuz I suddenly felt so embarrassed if he knew what was going on. I don't know why he came back to school in the summer, but what was this? coincidence? I had mostly forgotten about him, but now a new fire as sparked inside me. I just wished I had remembered to say something to him cuz I was so focused on not getting caught as a stalker. Then i remembered to breathe.

Life can be so WONDER-ful sometimes...

!@#$%^&*!!!!

On Wednesday, June 10, 2010, at about a quarter to 7 in the evening, I was in my research lab getting ready to leave for the day. As I was shutting down my lil sis's netbook that I borrowed, I went into the backroom to check on the last data spectra that I had taken and shut down all the equipment, which takes less than 5 mins. But then I heard a noise outside and went to see if there was somebody there and there was! A black man with a blue and white stripes t-shirt and blue jeans was walking out the room when I emerged from the backroom. Then I looked at my desk and saw that my netbook had disappeared!!!! O_O Then I immediately ran after that guy who just left and I had to run to catch up to him for such a big guy like him. I was about 4-5 meters away from him and asked him why he was in the room. He turned around and answered that he was looking for someone named Cathy and I kept staring at his hands and pocket and didn't see him carrying anything. So I ran back to the lab to see if there was anything else missing cuz my bag was just sitting on the chair. Thank goodness everything else was still in place except the netbook. So I ran back to see if I could catch up to that stranger to ask him if he saw anybody else in the room within the last 5 mins. But he was no where to be found and ran around the 11th Fl feeling so frantic and scared. I saw 2 guys, who I knew from other labs, heading to the elevator and asked them if they saw the man that I just saw, and they said no. But when i described to them the situation, one of them went back to their labs to check if any of their stuff was missing too. I thought I was about to hyperventilate by then...but all I could do was go to the security guards and they directed me to the public safety office to report the stolen item. It was then that I lost all hope in getting the netbook back. I even cried as I called my lil sis if she could give further descriptions of the netbook for me to report.

As the security guard brought me to the 26th precint, all I could do was kick myself in my mind. I wanted to beat up myself so badly, but I also felt so much HATE at that thief. The police and the public safety ppl told me that getting my netbook back was almost impossible since I didnt place any safety measures on the netbook. Apparently, I could have a blue marking etched on the netbook, which would signal to whoever tries to the buy the item that it was a stolen item or I could have set up something so that if a thief opened the netbook, a quick snapshot can be taken of the thief (if there's a built-in webcam) and it can be detected where it was located at the time when the thief opened the netbook. I feel so STUPID! I just couldn't say it enough to myself. It was drizzling that day too. By the time I left school, it was already 9pm. Only 2 hrs has passed after the event, and I felt like the netbook was already lightyears away. As I went home, I just got more paranoid about my surroundings. It was the first time I felt this much hate that it almost didn't seem right not holding a knife in my hand as I walked the street. It was like....nothing really mattered anymore.

The only thing that I could take away from this is too be more cautious next time. I was too naive in thinking that I could leave my netbook outside on my desk w/o anyone taking it as I stayed in the backroom cuz my desk faces the door. But the door was almost closed, not locked, but nobody could have seen me in my room w/o opening the door first. The scary thing is how could any random person walking thru the hallway pick the moment when I walked into the back room to take my netbook within those 5 mins w/o opening the door first. That made me think that the thief must have looked inside the room while I was still in front of my netbook without me knowing cuz my back faces the door and was waiting for me to leave my netbook alone before taking action! GAWDDDDD, I AM A STUPID-MORONIC-BUTTHEAD! It just didn't feel safe anymore.

I wanted to suspect that black guy who came into the room, but I didn't see him carry anything! But I heard something scary the next morning and made me 99% sure it must have been him, and made me want to turn into the Hulk. One of the two guys who I encountered as I frantically looked around the 11th fl for that black guys had apparently met the same guy too. He also said that he saw a black dude already inside their lab and when he asked why the black guy was there, he also said that he was looking for Cathy. But this occured a week ago. So how could he be looking for the same person a week apart?? Omg, at that moment when I heard that, I felt like raging again, but also a little relief cuz now I know who I can direct my anger at. Other ppl on the 11th fl started coming into the lab cuz they also heard the story too. It was pretty humiliating for me cuz I feel like I put everybody in danger and made my mentor look bad, but at least they're on alert now and it was only my property that was stolen. But my mentor said that if the grant that he applied for gets through, he would compensate it for me =I

my lil sis didn't yell at me, but she was still in shock and worried that I had lost all my data, but thankfully I had pulled out my usb drive before shutting down the netbook or that would have been another headache....but my lil sis and I had been planning to use that netbook for our trip to china....i feel like such a let down and a big disappointment to anybody who knows me now

well that pretty much bummed me out for the rest of the week

self-retarded

I still couldn't believe that I walked out bra-less today. I must have felt so hot that I reached for my shirt first before my bra. And I didn't even notice it until I was walking and window shopping on my way to the LOST exhibit. But it's no wonder I felt so free and not as hot as I thought would be. I was trying to act like normal, but I couldn't pull it off cuz I felt so self-conscious, so I held a newspaper over my chest. After finishing the exhibit earlier than I expected, I headed down to soho to buy myself a bra. It was my first time buying a bra from victoria's secret cuz all my bras came from my mom when she bought a whole bunch like a decade or so ago. Never felt sexier than ever after wearing it. I realized as I was trying them out in the fitting room that I had been holding the newspaper so tight against my shirt and sweating so much that there were newspaper stains on my shirt. It made me look like a hobo =___=

since I was in soho, i had to make a short stop in uniqlo...turned out i was there for an hour cuz waiting in line to try out clothes took forever, but i ended up not buying anything anyways cuz i felt guilty buying again when i just bought something from this store like less than a week ago

post-college phase

yippee yayyy I've graduated with a bachelor's degree in chemistry on May 28, 2010! =D

boy, that moment of happiness was brief, it ended as soon as I realized that wow, I have no fall classes to take anymore, it's really for real this time....so what am I going to do with this life? first, I really need to get a job.

But instead of looking for a job, I've been hanging out, eating out, and shopping more than usual. I watch as my green bills quickly drift away...

I've also been catching up with my beloved shows like LOST!

I've been following this show for the past 6 years for their 6 seasons. The finale made me teary eyed, and even tho the last episode didn't answer all the questions, like they ever do (which is the whole point tho), I went online to look up how the episode had been summarized and interpreted to gain a better understanding. I'm not sure I liked the ending or not, but I think they wrapped it up as best they could. I am so going to miss this show, and even tho the cast is one of the largest that any television network has ever seen, each and everyone of them had a meaningful purpose and acted really great and professional. This show wasn't about the mystery of the island, but the stories behind each character and I find this to be a really intelligent and creative show. Instead of giving you all the answers, it makes it so open to interpretation that you will be thinking about it for days, weeks, or even years to come. I don't know when there will be another show that has captivated my mind and heart like this one. *sniff-sniff*

time to finish FRINGE and the simpsons and other cartoons on FOX

I think my right ear may be infected or something cuz the area around the earring hole is bruised with a black-n-blue color and i feel a small lump inside  =/

living in a bipolar city

It was a nice day out today, but I must have froze 3 times over today. First, at my lab, there's always some kind of wind tunnel going outside my lab room and when the door is even slightly open, I feel the draft. Then when I went to my evening class, the ac was jacked up more than usual and I was so cold, i had to hug myself thru the entire lecture. Even my friend, who was wearing a jacket, felt cold. Then on the train ride home made me hate the F train even more cuz the newer, more modern ones treat the passengers like meat that needs to be over-frozen and to make things worse, no matter where I sat, i felt cold air blowing down the right side of my body and neck (even during the winter!). This was the only time I wished someone sat next to me so that i can steal body heat, but it was close to 9pm, and there are a lot fewer ppl on the trains. when i got home, i wore my faux-fur sweater and i tried to jog/walk/jumping jacks in place and did them as fast as i could in 10 mins. i just don't want to get sick...*prays for no runny nose*

i do wish i could be a reptile sometimes cuz i don't like being oversensitive to my surrounding's temperature. so i've tried many ways over the years to keep myself warm when i get cold. I was told to think of somethint warm when you're cold like the beach or something, but that was wasn't working for me. So I tried to think of who i have a crush on cuz thinking of the person you like is supposed to make your heart flutter or "skip a beat" and you get all warm and fuzzy, right? so it would be something like this...

well, not exactly that, but it kinda worked when i was imagining him sitting on the empty train seat right across from me, imagining what happened yesterday afternoon....

so i've had an infatuation w/ this guy for about a yr and half now, or 3 semesters cuz i forget about him when we don't have class together during the school breaks, hahas.  I know that he has class somewhere in the science building at 2pm and leaves to go to another class at around 3:15 pm (i know this cuz i accidently bumped into him and his classmates in the elevator one time). I was able to leave my lab early yesterday, so I was planning to coincidently bump into them again. but i left my lab maybe 10 mins late and didn't get to bump into them in the elevator. so I decided that as I was walking to the subway, I would take a detour through the building where his next class was held. but i only saw his classmates, and not him. As I was taking the escalator up, I was still hopelessly thinking of another way to see him, but he's a good student and always gets to class early or on time. When I reached the top of the escalator, many things happened in the next 5 secs:

1. He sees me first, then I notice him.
2. As he passes by me, he faces toward me even tho he was walking in the opposite direction.
3. My eyes widen w/ shock, but quickly turn away cuz i was flooded with many diff. emotions at once, while my voice flew out the window.
4. The end.

I walked a few meters more ahead, and all I could think of was whether or not he saw my surprised expression or not. So I decided to turn back to see where he went cuz the way he was going wasn't in the direction of his classroom. But I had lost him and I'm left still wondering if what I saw was real or surreal. I should have said a hello, but we don't address each other even in class since we're not friends even tho most of his classmates are my friends. So yea, thinking of that silly-adrenaline-rush moment made me feel...super-embarrassed, but still warm and fuzzy hahahas oh geez i guess things come when you least expect it~